Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize