It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
