On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
