matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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