god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
