No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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