I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize