just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Two words: nipple clamps
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