Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
