pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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