im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
