dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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