The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
