I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
