oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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