I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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