Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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