her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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