I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
