Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
