wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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