Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
