Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
