so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
