They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
