Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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