I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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