apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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