Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
