i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My life is pants optional.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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