I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
