yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
