i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
