why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
