That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
