My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
