Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
