at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
