And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
