Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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