I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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