Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
