considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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