Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
