yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
