Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
