If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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