just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
