we have officially lost it.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
