Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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