somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
