Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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