So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
