his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
