Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
