i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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