you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
