It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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